HOW SEEKING FOR ACCEPTANCE MAKE YOU INVISIBLE

I have never wished to satisfy the crowd, for what I know, they do not approve, and what they approve, I do not know. -Epicurus, a Greek philosopher

From the psychology perspective, our drive for acceptance is as natural as breathing. It harks back to our ancestors, where acceptance equated to survival – being part of the tribe meant access to resources and protection.

Fast forward to the 21st century, the savannahs have turned into cities, but our internal wiring hasn't had a major upgrade. The 'social self' theory suggests that our identity is shaped significantly by the feedback and acceptance we receive from others. We're social mirrors, reflecting what we perceive as desirable in our community. 

The Masks We Wear: Defense Mechanisms in Action

Wearing a 'social mask' is a defense mechanism, a sort of psychological armor. Carl Jung introduced us to the 'persona' – the version of ourselves that we present to the world. It's normal, even healthy, in moderation. But overdo it, and you risk losing touch with the 'self' – the core of who you are.

The Role of Acceptance in Mental Health

Constantly seeking acceptance can be draining. It can keep us from forming genuine connections, leading to feelings of loneliness and even depression. When our self-esteem is entirely audience-rated, it's as fickle as the weather.

Remember the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with his reflection? This is the metaphor of a man who becomes a victim of his own creation.

Unlike him, many of us have become adept at reflecting not on ourselves but on what we believe the world desires to see. This shape-shifting pursuit for a nod, a smile, or applause can be as exhausting as Sisyphus' eternal struggle with his boulder.

Yet, in this labyrinth of acceptance, we often become like chameleons on a canvas painted by someone else's hand – invisible, undefined, and utterly unremarkable.

The Disappearing Act: Why Fitting In Means Fading Out

Fitting in – sounds comforting, like a warm, inviting cocoon. But cocoons are for caterpillars, and even they must leave their comfort to become something more. When we contort our spirits to squeeze into boxes of conformity, we trade our wings for walls. The price? Our vibrant colors fade into the grey hues of the mundane.

Jim Carrey, in his motivational speech, said: “Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world,” and it hit me!

So many things we want to Be, do, or have, and yet we don’t because somehow if we stand out and be different, we will not belong anymore; people may not approve of us, or even worse, don’t like us, God forbid!

🚫 The Paradox of the Painted Smile

Life is too precious to spend in a perpetual audition for the approval of an ever-changing jury. Do not whisper but roar! We are not here to accumulate fans, followers, or fair-weather friends. We are here to play the most authentic role of all – ourselves.

But oh, how we juggle the masks! The clown, the charmer, the sage, the silent, all worn in hopes of a standing ovation. Yet, in this masquerade, we forget – the greatest applause comes from within.

OUR MISSION: Create Sovereign Humans with a toolbox of techniques and guidance to gain control over your choices and actions, leading to desired outcomes.

✊ Play the Role, but don’t believe in it

Living strategically is the action of a warrior who intentionally and flawlessly performs the acts that the situation requires. Externally, he responds to the need of the role… at the same time, internally, he takes possession of the responsibility and power that hides behind that mask. Only those who live strategically can make it!» -The School for Gods.

Remember, the road to freedom begins with challenging fixed ideas. Join the movement of those who dare to question, create, and reshape the world by simply asking, "What if?"

🔗 Useful Links & Resources

Download the “Activate Your Super Self” If you haven’t done so yet.

✍️ Reflective Prompt

Reflect on a time when your desire for acceptance made you feel invisible or inauthentic. Consider the following questions:

1. What part of your true self did you feel you had to hide or alter?

2. How did it impact your relationship with yourself and with others?

3. Can you identify the emotions and thoughts that drove you to seek acceptance?

4. What was the cost of this invisibility on your personal well-being?

5. In hindsight, what would you tell your past self about the value of authenticity versus acceptance?

6. Imagine a scenario where you chose authenticity over acceptance. How might that scenario have played out differently?

7. What steps can you take now to ensure that your need for acceptance does not overshadow your true self moving forward?

Use this reflection to explore the tension between the desire to be accepted and the need to remain true to oneself.

🔄 Share & Encourage Others

If this edition resonated with you, please consider sharing it with friends and family. In a world of constant noise, let's spread the message of introspection, curiosity, and the courage to question and achieve our potential. Challenge someone you know to rethink a belief today!

At AGAINST FIXED IDEAS, we believe in real, measurable impact. We understand that your time is valuable, so our newsletter is designed to provide tangible results you can see and feel in your business, everyday life, mental strength, and finances.

See you next week

Anastasia & the against Fixed Ideas Team

Follow us on

Thanks for reading Against Fixed Ideas! Subscribe for

free to receive new posts and support my work.